I remember the last birthday I had with my X. He wanted us to go to the rink and watch his rec hockey game so we bundled up and went. The kids (being just 5 and 2) got bored and cold fast so we went to the truck and played around in the warmth. X was agitated when he came out that we hadn't stayed in the stadium for the entire game but I was used to that. We went to Tim Hortons and they had out their Christmas mug so I said I was going to buy one and he remarked "It's your birthday you can do anything you want to do." That struck me funny because the first demand of him that day had been to go to his hockey game and watch him.
I remember getting out of the tub later that day and finding a brown paper bag from a store I recognized in the doorway. I looked in and found an unwrapped chunky knit wool throw that I had lusted after a few days previous in that store. There was a card and it had a message about being a great mom to J and E. I remember thinking how strange it was that there was no handwritten message from X, no Love at the end, and the kids had no idea I was even opening my gift or what it even was. It was very impersonal and cold and immediately I felt my body reacting to the fact that something wasn't right. I gave him an awkward hug and kiss but he was stiff. This wasn't how you treat your wife on her birthday.
A few days later in the middle of the night he ended everything I thought I was going to have and essentially he gave me back my life.
Today I woke up to start the day as. I needed to get kids ready for school, pack lunches, get myself ready for work, the usual. In the hustle and bustle we stopped so I could open the gifts they had got me. The night before we had gone to the mall and J had taken his nan to go buy me something. I took E to a home decor store she likes and she picked out something for me and had the cashier check it in and bag it before I came to the cash to pay....she really wanted it to be a surprise. She painstakingly decorated the bag for my gift for well over and hour. This morning I opened an adorable deer shirt from J and a wooden sign from E that says "always kiss me goodnight."
I spent the day at work quietly and happy. I treated myself to a specialty coffee in the morning and to a special lunch. I kept getting Facebook messages, texts and phone calls all day that warmed my heart. This evening I picked up my own cake (I ordered Paw Patrol) and the kids and I feasted on pizza and cake before going to practice for the church pageant.
I topped the night off with chores, bathing kids, cleaning, laundry, and tucking in one very angry little girl who got the grumps just before bed.
But the best most awesome part of my day was the two homemade cards the kids made me while in school. I love them, love the way words are mis-spelled which means he tried himself without help. Love the scribbled letters from a little girl writing with her left hand because of her thumb in a splint. Those cards made my day along with a sweet little bracelet E made me and had her teacher help tie.
Funny enough but because of X I've learned how to enjoy life.
|to my favourite mom. I gave you a special Birthday with a deer|
|could this bracelet be any cuter, they are doing patterns in school and she wanted me to recognize it was an AB pattern.|
|over an hour she worked on this bag for my present|
|presents that I dearly love not because of what they are but because they came from people I love|